Eight Facelift Recomendations for Penn Station

The foulest place in New York is about to get the really expensive, really necessary facelift that we’ve all been not-so-subtly encouraging it to get for forever.

Governor Andrew Cuomo laid out a massive renovation plan for New York City’s busiest transportation hub earlier this month, and as a man of the people, I would like to humbly propose the following overhauls for Mr. Cuomo and the city of New York’s consideration:

  1. 1. More than 6 ticket machines that aren’t 50 miles apart.

  2. 2. An entirely separate, disposable Penn Station built every year for Santa Con. I don’t want to deal with them anymore.

    Image: Richard Levine/Demotix/Corbis

  3. 3. Bathrooms! Specifically, ones that enforce a stricter “using the toilet” policy.

    Image: © Roy McMahon/Corbis

  4. 4. Higher ceilings to ensure that every waking moment inside doesn’t feel like I’m receiving an MRI with 5,000 other people.

    Image: Bebeto Matthews/AP/Corbis

  5. 5. Wouldn’t mind a little more natural light, but also any glimpse of humanity or hope would be nice.

    Image: Mary Altaffer/Associated Press

  6. 6. Wider escalators.

    Image: John Minchillo/Associated Press

  7. 7. Holiday travel that doesn’t turn everyone inside into an angry banshee.

    Image: Kathy Willens/Associated Press

  8. 8. A waterslide!

    Image: Tomas Rodriguez/Corbis

 

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